Doing the things we don’t want to do

Things have been a bit quiet on the blog front for a while as I’ve been focusing on other things. Days have gone by and I have genuinely wondered where I had the time to do a full time job before- there is always more to do than there are hours in the day. Some things have remained constant though- I read a lot in one form or another. Or rather I absorb quite a lot of information, some of it in book form, some of it online articles- the website Medium is a favourite, and some of it via social media or Audible.

I find myself being drawn towards those articles which talk about creating the conditions for significant change- because that is what I also want. Or rather, I want to create a new, more fulfilling life for myself, but if I’m honest I’d rather not lose my lifestyle (so not that radical a change haha). My sense is that change happens incrementally and only becomes visible to us when we look inwards and reflect on it, or we see it reflected in the response to us of those who have known us a long time. The conditions for change appear to be very similar to those which are also required for sustainable success.

  1. A clear sense of why- why do you want to change? What compels you and will keep you moving forward?
  2. Resilience- life will test if you really want to change…you will suffer defeats along the path to change, it’s how you respond to them that matters
  3. A willingness to confront the things you don’t want to do, to commit to personal growth, however hard it might seem and however uncomfortable it might make you feel. It is is those places that you don’t want to go, where the most profound change can be found
  4. To ask yourself searching questions and act on the answers- you must be willing to hold yourself accountable. What is my part in my situation? Can I do things differently? You cannot achieve significant change by doing the same things in the same way that got you here.
  5. To learn from those around who are further along the path to where you want to get to- there are many successful and enlightened people in the world who we can learn from, and because of the internet it’s never been easier to access their teachings
  6. Consistency and discipline- find a personal routine (exercise, diet, meditation etc) that works for you (ie makes you happy) and stick to it. Keep doing it, even when you don’t really want to. And even if you fall off the horse, get back on again. The aggregate benefits of doing these things will give you massive gains over time

Notice how none of these things requires us to have a transformational or unique idea that radically impact the world. You already have everything you need to transform your world inside of you. Our ego’s struggle to accept this though. Surely there must be more to it than that? So many of us (including me) have continued to look for external sources of change. “I found x and it transformed my life”… but these external agents will fade in influence over time.

I have realised that there are a few things holding me back from successfully moving forward. I am not always consistent in how I apply myself to things. Sometimes I start things but I don’t finish them. Sometimes I post on my blog, but sometimes…you get the point. I often go to bed later than I should, which leaves me jaded the next day, so I’m not operating at my best. Or if I’ve had a few drinks the night before, I don’t feel like getting up and doing my morning routine. When this happens I am quite hard on myself- and the result is I feel quite low.

So I’ve made a few decisions, changes I’m going to make to allow me to show up more consistently in the world. These are changes that the old me wants to sabotage, because they’re a bit scary, but the new me insists need to be done. I need to know what happens when they get implemented. I am excited and terrified at the same time. On one level I don’t want to do them, but I know that’s where the growth is.

So what am I going to do?

  • I will give up alcohol for a year- for those of you who don’t drink you might not think this is a big deal. But it has always been part of my adult life, a liquid comfort blanket to soothe life’s difficulties. I need to know who I am without this in my life
  • I will start going to bed at 10/10.30pm- this is because I want to get up at 6.30am
  • I will consistently complete my morning routine Monday- Friday- I would of said 7 days a week, but no-one’s perfect!

I’lllet you know how it goes, but it’s out there now! What things would you change?

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