For a long, long time, I have wanted to do something more fulfilling with my life. To have a life that’s full and rewarding, where I can spend a lot more time with my family and friends, where I don’t get to Sunday and dread the coming week.
So what stopped me from doing something about it? I mean, at least in theory, this is my life- I can and should be an active player on the set of my life. Here’s the thing though, for years (and there are a huge amount of people who also quietly live in this way) I basically forgot that this was the case. Life was something that HAPPENED TO ME… I had forgotten that I was in charge of my own life. Your life, my life and everyone else’s is the sum of the decisions we have made in their lives. When we are unhappy and do nothing about it, then we are acting as a passenger in our own lives. The only person who can change the fundamentals of your life, is you. But I let fear of the consequences prevent me from moving forward. Fear that I would be making a mistake. Fear that I could lose my standard of living. Fear that I would lose the respect and love of family and friends.
I had a good job, earnt good money, had lots of foreign holidays. In may ways it was a good life by most people’s standards. But it didn’t make me happy. I was exhausted, permanently on the edge of burnout. I was so unhappy I would try and start businesses as side hustles that could free me from the work I was doing. Which exhausted me even more. You get the picture.
But I could never quite cut the ties, with my old career. Project management kept pulling me back, because ultimately I think I was afraid of the scale of change required for me to be successful. I built it up in my mind. I was afraid that I wasn’t capable of being the person I needed to be, to live the kind of life I dreamed of- maybe you can relate to that?
But I am tired of hiding behind that excuse. The record needs to change. I have made a decision to be open to doing new things, to actively make different choices. To challenge myself and not live in fear of the unknown. I want life to HAPPEN THROUGH ME. And to tell the truth, it’s a bit scary, and I’m not sure where or how it will end up, but it’s also kind of exciting, and really empowering. Which feels a lot better than living in fear.