A few weeks ago the life I led changed dramatically. I lost my job. It was a massive shock, and one that I was completely unprepared for. I won’t lie, it hurt like hell…nothing like this had ever happened to me before. I have worked as a successful project manager in Finance and other industries for the past 15 years. I am also a property investor, and had recently started a serviced accommodation business with a business partner, and we were looking forward to the crucial forthcoming spring and summer period as bookings were starting to pick up. Then coronavirus happened. Covid-19 has shut down our serviced accommodation business almost overnight. As I write this AirBnB has announced that it will be stopping new bookings in the UK for the time being. The past couple of weeks have been characterised by a lot of stress and hand-wringing about what we can do to save our business, and some very painful decisions about whether we should continue with some of our investments. I can honestly say that emotionally it has been one of the hardest periods of my life.
But in and amongst the wreckage of my life, I can perceive that perhaps life is sending me signs that I need to change what I’m doing, that I need to adapt and that there is an opportunity here for me. There were many aspects of my old life which I didn’t like, but I felt locked in to that way of being as it provided me with a good living and lifestyle.
- Fulfillment- the work that I did didn’t fulfill me. Was I making a positive difference in the world really? Whose problem was I solving or life was I making better?
- Family- my day began at 6.30am. My family got up as I was leaving to head to the office and my daughter was going to bed as I got home, at around 8pm. Monday to Friday, I didn’t see her and if I did, I was invariably tetchy as I was exhausted by a demanding job, a lack of sleep and a long commute
- Health- although relatively physically fit (I am blessed with a fast metabolism), I often eat the wrong things, in the wrong quantities because I have been time poor. My mental health has suffered as I am often exhausted
- Quality of life/wellbeing- I have realised that the quality of life I had was poor. I had stopped feeling anything, numb to life because I had stopped listening to my body and instincts, stopped enjoying simple things. It was a shock to realise that I have been depressed for a long time
On reflection, my old life wasn’t that great. Don’t get me wrong there were some great things in it, mostly people, but it wasn’t much fun to actually live it.
There has to be a better way to live a life. Don’t get me wrong, I know it isn’t going to be easy and there are going to be a lot of ups and downs, and some massive changes, but I know deep down that my life has to change for it to be sustainable. I want to document what I’m going through, to improve my life in all the ways I have listed above and hopefully my blog can act as some kind of reference point and, perhaps inspiration for anyone who finds themself in mid-life wanting to change.
So this blog is about renewal and transformation. It’s about hope. It’s about optimism, and a willingness to change. I hope you like it.